


I’m Dying to Live

by Hockey_3720



Category: National Football League RPF
Genre: Dehydration, M/M, More tags to be added, Sickness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-05-12 01:50:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 18,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19219153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hockey_3720/pseuds/Hockey_3720
Summary: It’s only dehydration.That’s the truth...





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is short, I’d just like to see if y’all would possibly want more!

Danny collapsed on the sideline once coach blew the final whistle. He stared up at the cloudy sky as he desperately tried to get his breath back. His joints were stiff and there were shooting pains throughout his stomach; probably because he missed breakfast. 

“Ugh,” he groaned, his hands clutching his stomach as he rolled to his side. Bile was making its way up his throat, and before he knew it, he was retching a disgusting yellowish liquid onto the grass. 

“Dola?!” Someone’s voice called. 

Danny didn't answer as he moved back so he was lying on his back. Was it really hot out? Or was it just him? 

His eyes fell shut before he could see the three pairs of eyes over him. 

“Danny?” Julian asked, kneeling down, shaking Danny’s shoulders. “Come on man! Dola!?” He turned to look at Rob, shock clear on his face. 

“Tom,” Rob mumbled, keeping his eyes on their friend. “We… We need medical to be out here ASAP.” 

Before Tom could reply, the medics were pushing their way in, going straight to the dark haired man. “Danny? Danny?! Can you hear me?” 

Julian stood back, watching over them tend to his best friend… There was no response from him, and it scared Julian. It was unlike Danny to be like this. Danny was always one who took care of himself and often reminded others to take care of themselves. 

“Come on minitron. We can go visit him in the medical room after we change,” Rob said as the body board was being pulled out onto the field. 

Julian hung his head and nodded, letting the much larger man direct him toward the locker room. “I’ve never seen him like that,” Tom mumbled from next to them. “I mean… what the fuck happened? He seemed fine before.” 

Julian sighed. “I just… He was fine! The whistle was blown and the next thing I knew was that he was there on the ground…” Julian sounded defeated as he walked with them. “I fucking hope he’s okay.” 

“He’s Dola. He’ll be fine,” Tom said and let out a huff. “Jesus man. In all my years, I’ve never seen that.” 

“Just gotta keep our heads up. We can check on him in a bit,” Rob added as they entered the locker room. 

Julian was thankful when the cool air hit his sweat covered skin. It seemed to calm him down a bit, but it was beginning to eat at him, his best friend, and locker neighbor wasn’t there. His stuff was, but he wasn’t. 

The smile that he loved to see, the smooth silky voice, and those beautiful chocolate like eyes were not there and it felt so wrong. Julian’s head kept telling him it was a simple case of dehydration, but something deep in his heart told him it was much more than that… But he couldn’t be sure until he saw the man himself. 

***

“You guys can come in now,” Mike, one of the medics, said as he popped his head out of the medical room. 

It was now two hours after practice and Julian and Tom were waiting to see Danny. Julian was a wreck the whole time, while Tom sat there bouncing his leg, driving Julian right up the wall. 

“What took so long,” Julian asked, his blue eyes wide as he looked at the shorter man in front of him. 

Mike let out a sigh. “We had to wait for him to wake up. We had to give him some time to gather his surroundings so he wasn’t overwhelmed,” he informed as he lead the two men into the room. There was a curtain up, still keeping Danny from their view. 

“And you couldn’t tell us he was okay?” Julian asked, ready to pounce at the medic. “We thought he was like dying or something! And you say he’s fine?!” 

There was a firm hand on his shoulder in seconds. “Jules. Cut it out.” Tons voice was full of warning as he looked to the much shorter man. 

Julian let out a huff and backed off a bit. “Fine,” he grumbled and shook his head. “Now is my best friend okay?”

Mike gave Tom and thankful nod before nodding at Julian. “Yes, Julian. It was just a small case of dehydration. He’s managed to hold down the liquid he’s taken by mouth and in a little bit he’ll be able to go.” 

Before Julian could respond, the older man pulled the curtain to the side— revealing their friend. The poor man looked beyond exhausted. 

He was clearly still sweating with wet strands of hair sticking to his forehead, and his face an awkward red— like someone who has a fever. His dark, yet puffy, eyes instantly landed on his friends. “Hey guys,” he greeted quietly. 

“Dola man, you really scared us out there,” Julian replied. He moved in closer, standing at the older man's bedside. 

Danny nodded, his cheeks flushed red, worse than normal. “I don’t even know what happened,” he mumbled. “I was just aching so bad… and the next thing I knew was my stomach was protesting.” 

Tom nodded. “Ya gotta make sure you stay hydrated man. And make sure you eat breakfast,” he advised. 

Danny rolled his eyes and leaned further back into the bed. “I know, man. I’ll make sure I set my alarm for earlier tomorrow.” 

“You look exhausted, man. Rest up. We’ll need ya on Sunday,” Tom said, leaning forward and grasping Danny’s shoulder. 

Danny nodded. 

“If ya need anything just let us know. I’ll be over at yours tonight for video games— Yes! Tom! Only calming video games,” Julian said, eyes wide. 

“Thanks guys,” he mumbled.

*** 

“Alright, Dola, you’re ready to go. Now I know I’ve already told ya, but I’ll say it again… You need to make sure you take it easy tonight. Sleep plenty, drink a lot of water… Eat healthy,” Mike said as he pulled the IV’s out of Danny’s hand. 

Danny leaned back and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I know. This isn’t the first time I’ve been dehydrated,” Danny grumbled. 

“Please Danny. We need you to take it easy. B will be mad if you’re not good by time Sunday rolls around,” Mike replied as he finished up. 

He turned around to grab some papers from the counter. “Here is a reminder of what you should be eating… and a list of things you should be eating and drinking before you come in tomorrow for a check up.” 

Danny let out a sigh and nodded as he kicked he feet over the side of the bed and took the papers from Mike. “Yep… Thanks man… I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Yeah, take it easy, Dola,” Mike responded as he began to follow Danny out of the room. “I’ll see ya tomorrow.” 

As Danny made his way down the hall, he couldn’t help but feel relieved; he was finally out and he was able to go home and maybe catch a bite to eat. 

He was starving.


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy!

Danny leaned back as he stared ahead at the TV. It was only 5:30, and he was starving. He felt like he could eat a whole freaking cow, but of course Julian was running late (as usual), so he couldn’t even think about dinner or what was for it until the younger man showed. 

Once the clock made its way to 5:50, he let out a huff and pushed himself up— it was time to drink another glass of water. As he began to slowly make his way to the kitchen, there was a knock at his door. When he pulled it open, he was surprised to see Julian there. It was a whole 10 minutes earlier than he was expecting. 

“Hey Jules… uh… What ya got there?” Danny asked. He looked down at the two plastic bags full of containers in Julian’s hands. 

Julian shrugged as he moved in, pushing his way past his best friend. “I had Kenny whip something up. I told him your predicament and he was happy to help,” Julian informed as he made his way to the kitchen. “I hope you like Green Curry Marinated Chicken with cauliflower fried rice, spinach, kale, and seared mushrooms.” 

Danny’s eyes went wide. That really did sound good. He shut the door and followed Julian into the kitchen, where he was beginning to take out all of the containers. 

When Danny walked in, Jules stopped what he was doing and looked at Danny with concerned blue eyes. “How are ya feeling man? What time did you get home?” 

Danny slid onto a stool and shrugged, looking over all the delicious food sitting on the counter. “I’m fine. Just really sore and tired,” he said. His eyes flicked up to look Jules in the eyes. “I got home about an hour after you guys left. We had to make sure all my levels were fine after I was done with the IV’s.”

Julian nodded. “Dude, you really gotta make sure you eat breakfast and hydrate before practice,” Julian warned as he turned around to grab some plates from the cupboard. 

“I know,” Danny grumbled. He ran his hands down his face and shook his head. “I never meant to. I just… my alarm didn’t go off and the next thing I knew was that I had to be out the door. And man… it was hot as hell.” He shook his head and looked to Julian, his brown eyes soft. “It was just terrible.” 

“I know man. Dehydration sucks. And throwing up sucks even more,” Julian said. He leaned forward to grab open up each container. 

Danny shook his head. “No… I just… I don’t even know… I was fine… but as I walked to the side line, my head started to pound… The world began to spin, so I took a knee. That wasn’t a good idea.” He let out a huff and ran a hand through his dark hair. “Then there was a sharp pain in my stomach… and it just went downhill from there.” 

Julian’s blue eyes flicked up, full of concern. “Sharp pains? Dola, that ain’t good. When was the last time you drank water or Gatorade prior to that?” 

“I chugged a bottle on the way to the stadium,” he replied. “I just… I’ll have to make sure I drink more throughout practice.” He eyed the food Julian was beginning to plate up. He swore his stomach grumbled. 

“Well, looks like Kenny made us a good meal. He said that this would be plenty of nutritious food for ya,” Julian informed as he slid the plate toward Danny. “He knows how much you love his cauliflower fried rice.” 

Danny nodded as he picked the fork up from the plate and eyed his food. It looked amazing. “It looks amazing Jules. I am absolutely starving. Didn’t have a real lunch,” Danny mumbled as he stabbed a piece of chicken, along with a mushroom or two. He stuck it in his mouth and began chewing. 

It tasted amazing. Is all was seasoned and cooked absolutely perfect, but the problem came when he swallowed it. It seemed like his appetite was out the door. He sat there for a second, carefully eyeing the rest of the food on his plate. There was so much confusion, but he suddenly felt so stuffed.

He let out a sigh and put the fork down, then slid from the stool. “You want a Gatorade or anything,” he called over his shoulder as he moved to his fridge and pulled it open. 

“Yeah man,” Julian said with a mouth full of food. “I’ll have a blue one! You still got some right?” 

Danny reached in, fishing around the back, and finally came up with the said Gatorade. “Yeah man,” he said. He then grabbed a bottle of water for himself from the top shelf. 

He turned around and slid the bottle of Gatorade across the counter to Julian. “Thanks, Dola,” Julian replied as he shoved a fork full of food into his mouth. 

“No prob,” Danny mumbled quietly. He slid onto his stool and eyed all the food on his plate. 

“What’s the matter, man?” Jules asked, pulling Danny from his thoughts. Danny’s brown eyed snapped up to meet Julian. “If it’s too cold for you, you can probably throw it in the microwave for a few seconds.” 

Danny let out a sigh and shrugged. “Man, I don’t know. I’m just… I’m not that hungry right now,” he mumbled and looked back to his food— minutes prior, it looked amazing. 

Julian arched an eyebrow in question. “You said you didn’t have a real lunch, though. Dola, are you okay?” Concern was drowning in his voice as he looked at the older man. 

Danny nodded. “Yeah… I mean… I just… I should probably have more liquids in my system,” he mumbled. He grabbed the bottle of water again and brought it up to his lips. 

After another hour, and Julian arguing to Danny that he needed to eat, Danny caved and ate about half of his plate. Soon after, the two decided to make their way to the living room, where Jules promised Danny he would ‘take him down’ in madden. 

“Yo! Holy shit, are you even fucking trying man?” Julian practically yelled as he made it into the end zone. 

After a second, he didn’t get a response, so he tore his eyes off the TV and looked toward Danny. The older man was sat there with the controller in his lap, practically shivering. “Dola? Are you okay man?” 

Danny pulled his hoodie closer to his body and sucked in a breath. “I-I’m fucking freezing, man,” he said. His teeth were practically chattering. 

Julian let out a sigh and leaned over, pushing the back of his hand up to the dark haired man’s forehead. “Dude. You’re burning the fuck up. Where’s the paper that Mike gave you?” 

“K-kitchen,” Danny mumbled as he pulled the collar of his hoodie up to rest between his mouth and nose. 

Julian darted up from the couch and moved into the kitchen where the print outs were sitting. He stood here for a second, quickly reading over what the symptoms were— #6 Fever Bingo! 

He made his way back into the living room and looked at his poor friend. “Come on man. Let’s get you into bed. I’ll get you some water and Gatorade. You need to rest up,” he said as he squatted. He was at eye level with Danny.

Those big brown eyes looked back at him, and Julian couldn’t help but feel terrible. Danny slowly began to get up, making his way toward his bedroom. Julian began to follow, helping the older man strip from his jeans and into a pair of sweats. 

Next, he moved to pull back the covers. Danny carefully slid in, making sure his heating blanket was on. Julian pulled the sheets up to Danny’s chin and let out a sigh. “You gonna be alright, Dola?” He looked into those brown eyes and felt guilty. He’d do anything to switch places with Danny. 

Danny clutched the blankets with his hands and nodded. “Y-Yeah… Can I have come tea? Please Jules?” 

Julian let out a sigh and slowly shook his head. “I’m sorry, Dola. I don’t think I can do that. It could make the dehydration worse. I could get you water or Gatorade… what would you like?” 

Danny let out a sigh before muttering he’d just like water. 

*** 

The next morning, after some much needed sleep, Danny was up and ready to head in for his check up with Mike. He felt like a million bucks after the terrible day before. 

He managed to scarf down three eggs, two pieces of toast, and two bottles of water within five minutes. It wasn’t because he was in a rush, but it was because he was absolutely starving. He was damn proud of himself— he managed to eat the whole meal, and drink water without feeling the tiniest bit sick; therefore, that was a victory. 

When he strolled into the stadium, there were boots and hollers echoing through the halls. The energy was practically a mirror image of how he felt; an extra spring in his step and a large smile on his face. Absolutely nothing could ruin his mood. 

When he got to the medical office, Mike was sitting there waiting for him. “Morning Danny, how are you feeling today?” He asked as he stood and eyed the dark haired man. 

“Morning. I actually feel great. I was running a fever last night, and wasn’t very hungry, but I’ve eaten today and feel great,” Danny said. He adjusted the bag on his shoulder. “Really hoping to be cleared to practice today.” 

Mike smiled and nodded toward the examination room. “Follow me and I can be the judge of that.” 

Once Danny was in his stupid medical gown, Mike began to run tests, checking his breathing, his heart beat… blood pressure… asking all of the stupid questions Danny hated to be asked. 

Then Mike looked over some papers and looked up to Danny. He let out a sigh and leaned back in his rolly chair. “Alright Dola,” he announced with a straight face. “I’m going to make sure you’re able to handle shit again…” 

“Okay,” Danny said slowly. “Does that mean I can practice?” He was beginning to get eager— he just wanted to be out there with the guys. 

Mike nodded. “Yes, you can. However, I will advise the coaching staff and B that you are no contact for today’s practice. We want you to ease back into it. We don’t want you to be passing out again, alright?” 

Danny’s brown eyes went wide as he nodded. “Yes sir! Thank you, Mike,” he thanked as he hopped off the table and began to get dressed.

He was out the door in a minute— he was glad to be feeling like himself again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jules is one damn good friend, huh?


	3. 3

It was 4:37 when the white noise began to lift and the sound of the ceiling fan took over Danny’s ears. He let out a sigh and he turned into his side and relaxed into the covers. It was only then that he nearly bolted awake. 

Pain began to tear through his abdomen, causing him to fold in on himself. His eyes snapped open as he clutched his stomach, hoping the extra pressure would make it stop. Only, it didn’t. It felt so much worse. 

“Holy fuck,” he grumbled as he rolled back to his back. He planted both feet on the bed, curling his toes in and arched his back up, not knowing how to react to the pain. “Oh my god.”

Tears began to gather in his eyes as he rode out the shooting pain. As it subsided, he relaxed into his bed, taking a few deep breaths. “What the actual fuck?” 

With another shaky breath, he ran a hand through his sweaty hair and let his eyes fall shut. It was the worst pain he felt in his entire life and he wasn’t sure what was causing it. As he laid back, staring up at the ceiling fan that was barely visible in the dark, he swore he could feel his stomach throbbing. 

That was when more pain began to run through him. In no way was it as bad as the first, but it was damn close. He curled in on himself again and held his breath, praying that it would subside quickly. 

It wasn’t until birds were chirping and the birds were chirping that Danny decided he needed to get himself to the hospital— As soon as possible. Between the shooting pains he rolled out of bed and got dressed, ignoring the achiness in his joints. 

At 6:46 he managed to get himself to his car, starting it as the searing pain made a reappearance. As it tore through, he gripped the steering wheel while nestling grinding his teeth. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” He began hitting the steering wheel and practically Howled in pain. “Owww holy shit!” 

A few seconds later, the pain subsided. He sat there, trying to collect himself. He felt like an idiot. He was a big name football player, headed to the ER because he was having stomach pains. The last thing he needed was a story about him and then there being rumors. Just as he was about to get out of the car and head back into his house, another pain hit him. 

It was one of the worst ones he’d felt. In fact, it was so bad that he felt the bile rising up his throat, just as he did two days before at practice. He threw his car door open and leaned out, up chucking his guts all over his garage floor. 

“Fuck,” he mumbled. He leaned back into the car and rested his head against the headrest. He let his eyes fall shut as his breathing began to even out. 

“Danny,” he mumbled to himself, looking forward at the wall. His head lights were lighting it up, making the few things hanging on it noticeable. “You need to bring yourself to the fucking hospital. This can’t just be dehydration.” 

He sucked in a breath and slammed his car door shut, reminding himself to clean his sickness up when he got back. As be backed out of the driveway, he couldn’t help but pray he wouldn’t be a completely different man when he came back. 

The normal 15 minute drive to the hospital took the total of 34 minutes. Danny has to pull over every so often so he could either upchuck his whole stomach, or so wouldn’t crash because of the intense pain shooting through his body. 

Danny pulled into a parking spot, one of the closest to the door, and got out. He practically ran to the doors, not wanting to risk collapsing if another bout of pain shot through his body. 

When he entered the doors of the ER, he was welcomed be a smiling nurse. “Hi sir, how can I help you today?” 

He planted his hands on the desk for support as he tried to keep himself calm. On the inside, he was really beginning to panic. He didn’t want to be recognized, he didn’t want rumors to be spread, and he certainly didn’t want to admit that there might be something completely wrong— that he was weak. He wanted to be healthy. 

“H-Hi… Since like 4:30 I’ve been having intense pains in my uh…” His breath hitches as pain spiked through him again. “Ah fuck. God no. God no. Please. Stop. Make it stop.” 

It was like he was suddenly whisked off his feet. He was pulled back into a wheelchair and then he met a pair of brown eyes. “Sir? Are you okay?” Suddenly there was a hand in his. He was gripping it quite hard as the pain continued. “If you can hear me, squeeze my hand twice.” 

Danny squeezed her hand twice, then squeezed his eyes shut. “S-Stomach pains.” He felt himself being pushed, and cold air moving past his face.

As soon as the wheel chair came to a stop, the pain began to fade away, oh so slowly, but there was still a gentle throbbing deep in his abdomen. When he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital room, with a new nurse looking down at him. She had soft hazel eyes. 

“Sir? Are you okay?” She asked as he squatted down in front of him and looked into his eyes. 

Danny was scared— no not just scared, he was terrified. He sucked in a breath and finally admitted it. “I-I think there’s something wrong. I’m having intense pains in my stomach… Bouts of nausea… and I just… I don’t know,” he mumbled and looked down. A few tears pulled from his eyes and ran down his cheeks. 

“Alright,” the nurse said. Her voice was extremely soft and comforting. She placed a hand on his knee, and he looked up to meet her soft eyes. “Are you okay enough to get up and lie back on this bed?” 

He sucked in a breath and nodded. After a second or two, he built up the courage and pushed himself. Danny got himself into the bed and leaned back into the white sheets, feeling slightly relieved. “I-I just… it’s been on and off since 4:30,” he whined as he watched the nurse pick up a clip board. 

“Can I have your name, hun,” she asked as she looked away from the clipboard and to Danny. 

“Danny… Danny Amendola. A-M-E-N-D-O-L-A,” he mumbled as his eyes fell shut. He finally felt calm. 

“Alright. And you said you’ve been experiencing this since 4:30? Shooting pains in the stomach and nausea?” She was content in writing down whatever she had to write down. 

Danny nodded. “How many times have these pains happened? And how many bouts of nausea have you had?” She questioned, looking back to the dark haired man. 

“The uh… The pain… about, I don’t know, 15 times? I’ve thrown up about 4? There was blood in the last one,” he mumbled and let his eyes fall shut. 

The nurse sighed and put the clipboard down, so she could truly look at Danny. “Have you had any prior experiences like this?” She gave Danny a curious look, truly concerned with why the older man was in so much pain. 

“I had it a bit on Tuesday after practice. The uh… The trainers diagnosed it as dehydration,” Danny mumbled. He opened his eyes and let out a sigh. “Yesterday I was completely fine.” 

“Alright. May I ask though? Practice for what?” The nurse questioned, giving Danny a confused look. 

Danny felt a bit at ease. She had no clue who he was… And he had to say, it was kinda nice. “I play for the patriots,” he replied. “I threw up and passed out after practice the other day. They told me that it was dehydration. And at my check up yesterday, they said I was fine. I felt like a million bucks.” 

“Okay, I’ll be sure to let the ER Doctor know. Is there anyone you’d like to call to be here, Danny?” The nurse asked. She looked concerned, and it was like she somehow knew that Danny was scared. 

After letting out a sigh, Danny shook his head. “No… Thank you, though.” 

About ten minutes later, a man in a long white coat came strolling into the room. “Hello Danny… I am Doctor Ward. I hear you have been experiencing some pain in your abdomen,” he said as he looked down at the exhausted man. 

Danny nodded and ran a hand through his hair. “Yes, sir. It’s been about 20 minutes since the last one,” he mumbled. 

“Okay… Do you think you could pull up your shirt for me,” Dr. Ward asked. “I want to feel around to see if there are any abnormalities.” 

“Uh, yeah, I can,” Danny mumbled as he sat up and pulled his shirt up. As he laid there with his six pack on display, he stared down at it, not noticing any differences than normal. 

The doctor put on a pair of gloves and moved up to danny. “Okay, I’m going to lightly press into your stomach. Please let me know when or if you feel pain,” the doctor told Danny. 

Danny nodded and the doctor began to lightly press his fingers into Danny’s skin. First it was above his belly button, then to the sides of it… Then came to the spot just under, but to the right, and Danny was finching, desperate to get away from the touch of the doctor. The doctor instantly pulled away. 

“Huh… Okay… I’m going to have you go in for an X-Ray… And we’ll see what happens from there,” the doctor informed. “I’ll have nurse Bellina come in to help you out.” 

“Okay,” Danny grunted. He threw his head back as he pulled his shirt down. 

This was going to be a long morning. 

*** 

After another hour and some X-Rays Danny was just settling back into the hospital bed, now in a hospital gown. He’d had one more bout of pain and nearly collapsed as he was changing, but luckily the nurse, Bellina, was there to help him. 

Doctor Ward came strolling in, and Danny looked at him, hope sparking in his eyes. He just wanted to be helped and to be able to go home to relax the rest of his day off. 

“Danny,” the doctor greeted. “I think I’m going to have one of the nurses run an ultrasound on you. The X-Rays did not show anything unusual. I promise as soon as we find out what is wrong, we can get you something to ease the pain. If anything is swelling, we want to be able to see it, so we cannot give you any anti inflammatories.” 

“Okay,” Danny mumbled. He felt like he could fall asleep. He felt the most calm than he had in the past 4 hours. “Will I be able to go home today?” 

The doctor sighed. “I can’t answer that. Once we find out what is wrong with you, we can make a decision and let you know,” the doctor replied sympathetically. 

Danny let out a sigh and nodded. “Okay.” 

He didn’t necessarily like that answer. 

Soon enough one of the nurses was in the room, running an ultrasound. After she got the machine running and began displaying pictures on the screen, the doctor came back in. Danny eyed the screen, not knowing what anything meant. 

“Oh,” the doctors startled tone pulled Danny out of his thoughts. He looked up to meet the doctors blue eyes like a deer caught in headlights. 

“I-I think I know what it is,” he said as he looked to the screen, then to the nurse. “It’s not appendicitis. I’m going to call doctor Macek. He will be able to identify it.” He was saying it low enough in hopes that Danny wouldn’t hear, but Danny heard every word. He was beginning to panic. 

“Now, Danny. I’m going to have you clean up and then we are going to send you down stairs to get an MRI,” Doctor Ward informed. “I’m sure we know what it is, we just need him to confirm it.” 

Danny let out a long sigh and nodded. Fuck-- This was no fun. 

Somehow, while the MRI was being run, Danny managed to fall asleep. The machine was extremely loud, but he was beginning to feel dopey and the next thing he knew was his eyes were shut.

Once the test was done, Danny was shaken awake by a new nurse-- Nurse Margaret. She was extremely nice and was happy to help Danny. 

“Hi Darling. We’ve finished your testing,” she said, with a smile. She helped Danny sit up, slide off the machine and into the wheelchair. “How are you feeling?” 

Danny let out a tired breath and shrugged. “I just wanna go home,” he mumbled miserably. “This wasn’t how I wanted to spend my day off.” 

The nurse sighed. “You’ll be able to go home later. We’ve figured out what it is. Dr. Macek will meet you up in your room after you’re settled. We are officially transferring you from the ER and admitting you into the hospital.” 

“Okay,” Danny mumbled. He turned his head and looked up at the nurse as she began to push him out of the room. “Is… Is it bad?” 

Nurse Margaret sighed, giving Danny a straight face. “I’m sorry, Danny, but I cannot tell you anything,” she said. “I wish I could, but it is not my place to tell you.” 

Danny sighed, shaking his head as he was pushed through the halls. 

After was settled, Danny laid in his hospital bed, staring at the ceiling-- wondering, praying that everything would be okay. His phone on the bedside table began to vibrate. He slowly leaned over and whisked it off the table. 

Julian 10:08   
Hey man. Wanna go out for lunch today? 

Danny let out a huff and shook his head. “I fucking wish.” He began typing out a reply, knowing it was a complete lie. 

Danny 10:09   
Sorry. I’m spending the day at my mom’s. She’s making lunch and I’m taking her out to dinner. 

He sent the text, noticing that it was instantly read, and the three little dots appeared on the screen. Before a reply could be sent, there was a knock on the door and the doctor was walking in. 

“Hello Danny,” an older man greeted. He had glasses and was beginning to grey. “I am Doctor Macek. We have been able to make a diagnosis, and we will be able to assist you in anything you may need help with.” 

Danny wanted to yell at the man, ‘just spit it out’. 

But as the doctor began talking, he quickly began to wish that the doctor would have just keep his mouth shut. It seemed that his world was beginning to crash down around him. 

After the doctor had left Danny to soak in the pieces of information, Danny picked up his phone. He needed to call the one person he knew he could tell anything to-- It was one of the people who had always been there for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Dola :(


	4. 4

“Hello? Danny? Are you there?” The voice game through, and it was full of concern. Danny couldn’t answer. He only sat there, staring down at his lap, thinking about what the doctor just told him. 

“Okay… You must’ve butt dialed me, then,” the voice said. 

“N-No,” Danny spit out. His voice was shaky as tears began to pull from his eyes. “P-Please don’t go.” Danny mumbled as he brought his free hand up to his face and rubbed in frustration. 

“Danny? What's wrong? Are you crying?” Matt’s voice came through the phone. He himself sounded like he was beginning to panic. It hurt Danny almost as much as the pain in his abdomen. 

“I-I’ve been in the hospital all day,” he practically whispered. He didn’t even know if he could hear himself. 

“What was that? Danny, I can’t hear you. You really need to speak up,” Matt replied. “What’s wrong? Why are you crying? Is mom okay?” 

Danny sighed as he closed his eyes. He needed to regroup himself. “Matt,” he finally said, his voice much stronger. “I’ve been in the hospital all day.” 

“What? Why? What happened?” Matt’s voice was softer this time, comforting even. “Are you okay? Danny?” Matt was always the ratty older brother that was mean to him, but it was out of love. And because of that, the two of them became closer and Danny knew that he could always count on Matt. 

“Matty,” Danny mumbled as he shook his head. Tears continued to pull down his cheeks. He’d never felt so alone. “I-I guess I’m sick.” 

Matt let out a huff on the other end of the line. “With what, Danny? What’s happened? How sick are you?” He officially put on his father voice, and sounded like he was ready to drop the gloves with anyone that would be in Danny’s way. 

“I-I passed out from dehydration at practice the other day,” Danny said. “A-And I was fine yesterday… Then today… This morning out of nowhere, I was getting terrible stomach pains and was throwing up.” 

“Danny, you’re really scaring me. What the hell is wrong? Do you need me to come out there?” Matt was extremely concerned for his little brother. It made danny feel a bit better… A little more like he wasn’t completely alone. 

“No,” Danny mumbled as he opened his eyes and sucked in a breath. “I just… they ran some tests and… Fuck. I don’t want to say it. Then it’ll be real.” He was scared, Matt could hear it in his voice. 

“Come on, Bro, you can tell me. If need be, I’ll be on the next plane out there,” Matt offered, “Now what’s wrong?” 

Tears fell down Danny’s face. He sucked in a shaky breath, choking on a sob. “I’ve… I’ve got,” Danny shook his head. His free hand moved into his hair, pulling at the dark strands. “I’ve been diagnosed with crohn's disease. My intestines are swollen and… And its not curable… I just… Matt…” 

“D-Danny,” Matt said quietly. It was now his turn to be quite. He was in complete shock. He had no clue how to respond to that. He didn’t know much about Crohn’s, and he sure as hell didn’t know about any ways to help with it. “Are you okay?” 

For the first time, Danny was ready to admit it. He sucked in a shaky breath and began to shake his head. “I-I don’t know, Matt,” Danny mumbled. “I-I… I don’t know much about it… They advised me to take a few days off from practice. But… I-I don’t want them to know.” 

“Do you want me to be there?” Matt asked for what seemed like the thousandth time. “You shouldn’t have to go through it alone. Have you called Julian? He could help you, too.” 

Danny shook his head. “No. I’m not… I’ll figure it out. I just… I’m fine,” Danny replied. “I’m fine.” It was like Dnany was trying to convince himself. 

“Okay. Just… Call me if you need anything. Please take it easy,” Matt told him. “And I mean that, Danny. Please.” 

Danny nodded. “I will. Thank you, Matt. I-I… Thank you.” 

“Love you, Danny.” 

*** 

It wasn’t until nearly 8pm that Danny got back home. He was extremely drained from the day and had no shortage of paper work about Crohn’s and medications. To start out, he was asked to take two different types of anti inflammatory medications and three different types of vitamins. 

When he sat down on one of the stools in his kitchen, he just stared down at the papers. One as labed ‘What to eat’ and the other was ‘What to avoid’. It sent Danny into a whirlwind of thoughts. It wasn’t too bad truth be told, but it was all shocking to know he had to stay away from certain things-- even on his cheat days.

“No Alcohol, no grease, no spicy foods… No foods that are high in fiber… Limit dairy products… Fuck,” he grumbled as he ran his hands down his face and let out a huff. “How the fuck did this happen to me?” 

As he sat there, he thought about how he’d have to tell the medical staff. Would they let him play? When Bill found out would he even want Danny to be on his team? Would his teammates feel sorry for him? He didn’t want that. 

The last thing he ever wanted was a special treatment. He was the same old Danny. He just had swollen intestines… And now wouldn’t be able to partake in a lot of team parties… It scared him. He didn’t want to be left out-- that was the last thing he wanted. 

His phone began ringing in his pocket, pulling him out of his thoughts. Without checking the caller ID, he pulled answered the phone, bringing it up to his ear. “Hello?” He asked quietly, he felt so defeated. 

“Hey Dola!” It was Julian, and he sounded way too cheery for Danny’s mood. “How was your day with you mom?!” 

Danny sucked in a long breath, pursing his lips. “It was pretty good,” Danny mumbled. “Talked to Matt today, too.” He added, he needed to say something that was the truth in there too. He couldn’t completely lie to his best friend. 

“That’s great! How is he doing? How is little Luca,” Julain asked, still just as cheery. He seemed to not notice the sadness that was swimming in Danny’s voice. 

“They’re good. They’re all pretty good,” he mumbled. “I just got home. I’m honestly ready for bed. It’s been one hell of a long day.” 

Julian chuckled. “Oh… Okay… I’ll let you go, then. I just called to see if you wanted to carpool tomorrow? I may have a sponsorship deal go through and I wanted you to check out the place with me after practice.” 

Danny shook his head, then realized that Julian couldn’t see him. “Oh… Uh… No man, I’ve got another meeting with Mike tomorrow, then I’m uh… I’m taking my mom to her doctor appointment… So I can’t. Thanks for the offer, though,” Danny thanked. 

“Oh… Alright… I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Julian said, in a flat tone. After a few seconds, Danny didn’t reply, so Julian spoke up again. “Are you sure you’re alright man?” 

“Yeah… I’m sure… I’ll see you tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is always helpful! Let me know what you think! :)


	5. 5

Danny sucked in a breath. He was currently in the stadium parking lot, looking up at the building. He was questioning if he should go in, or just call his career quits then and there. He didn’t want to have to face everyone. The Medical staff already got the report from the hospital, but what scared him most was the fact that his teammates would eventually find out. 

The sympathy… The special treatment scared the shit out of him. He was just a normal… Ish human. He didn’t need anything special. 

After a few minutes, Danny shook himself from his thoughts and pushed his way out of his car. His heart was pounding as he made his way up to the building. It felt like this was a life defining moment.

When he got inside, he made a bee-line for the medical office. He didn’t want any of the guys to see him… To question him. He pushed his way in to be greeted by Macy, the team psychiatrist. “Hi Danny, we were waiting for ya. If you could head into room B and change into the gown in there, that’d be great. Mike and I will be doing a full examination of your body… Then we will have you meet Kristy to talk about a proper diet plan,” she said as she stood from her seat and pointed toward the hall. 

Danny nodded as he dropped his bag to the ground next to the front desk. “Thank you, Mace. I appreciate it,” he mumbled. He walked down the hall and found the room he was needed in. When he walked in, he felt like his heart was in his throat-- pounding a million miles a minute. 

He pulled his shirt over his head, then slid off his shorts. Once he put the gown on, he moved to sit on the cold examination table, feeling extremely vulnerable. A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door, and then the door was being pushed in. “Hey Danny,” it was Macy and Mike-- just as expected. 

He gave them a brief nod. “Hi guys,” he mumbled quietly as he folded his hands on his lap. “How are you?” 

“Good,” they both said in unison. They both sat down and looked at Danny. Macy had her stupid clipboard, and Mike had a tray of a few medical supplies. 

“How are you holding up,” Macy asked, eyeing Danny carefully. She was trying to read his mood, not wanting to set him off in any way. She knew it was the first day that Danny was facing since he found out. It was still the beginning stage, and it was only a matter of time until he could possibly snap. 

Danny shrugged and ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve been okay. Just kinda spent all night trying to figure out what exactly will be happening… how it will affect my career,” he said. “I just… I was wondering why I’ve never had a flare up before. It could possibly because I’m an athlete, so I exercise enough.” 

Mike nodded as he put the tray down on the counter. “Yep. I’m sorry we didn’t catch it earlier. We truly thought it was only dehydration,” Mike apologized. 

“It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known,” Danny mumbled and looked down to his lap. He was already feeling shitty enough, he didn’t want Anyone else to feel shitty. 

Mike sighed as he stood. “I’m gonna do a quick evaluation. Could you lie on your back, please,” he asked as he moved toward Danny. 

Danny did as asked, and let Mike exam him. As soon as the physical evaluation was finished, Mike left with the blood he drew from Danny, leaving Macy with him. 

“Are you sure you’re feeling okay, Danny?” She asked, putting her clipboard down. “Physically? Mentally?” 

Danny sighed, but nodded. “Yeah.” 

“How’s your family? Have you talked to any of them lately?” She asked, trying to get Danny to speak a bit. 

“Talked to Matty yesterday,” he mumbled and shrugged his shoulders. “Everyone is good… healthy.”

“Have your medications been working so far,” she questioned, looking up at Danny, genuinely curious. 

“Don’t know. Hasn’t been too long.” Danny was being extremely short. Macy couldn’t help but feel bad for him. She’d never seen him like this. He’d always been outgoing and a very sweet man— he’s never been quiet or short with her. 

Macy nodded, pursing her lips… She wanted to get something out of him. “Have you possibly had anyone around lately? With you at your home? You know? Since you found out?” 

Danny’s hands tightened in the clasp they had in each other. “No,” he mumbled. “Just me. Don’t really… Have anyone.” 

“Oh,” she said. She arched an eyebrow in question. “What about Julian? Or Tom? Rob even?” 

Danny’s eyebrows furrowed together as he shook his head. “Not really. I don’t really plan on telling them about it. I just want to live my life normally,” he mumbled and looked down at his hands. 

Before Macy could say another word, Danny looked up, his brown eyes practically burning holes into her. “Now uh… I should probably get going,” he said. “I’m sure Kristy is waiting for me.” 

Macy let out a long sigh, ready to protest, but she finally nodded. “Alright, Dola… If you need anything, you know you can reach out to me. We are all here to help you when you need it,” she informed as she stood from her chair. 

Danny nodded. “I know.” Was all he said as he slid off the table himself. “Thanks.” 

She knew better than to point out that he was being closed off, that he needed to talk, but she let it slide. It was all so new to him. “No problem, Danny. I’ll call Kristy and let her know you’re coming.” 

*** 

Danny sighed as he looked down at the papers Kristy had given him. He had just about every meal planned out for himself for the next week, and he was flabbergasted by all the stuff he wasn’t allowed to eat anymore. Broccoli? Nope. Peppers? Nope. Nothing whole grain. Nothing whole wheat. 

This was going to be a rather large adjustment. Throughout his whole meeting with Kristy, he tried to keep himself from panicking. When he finally made it out, he decided to make a beeline straight to his car. 

He needed to get home. He needed to be alone. Or else he was going to lose it. 

Danny was too busy scanning the papers in his hand to notice the almost empty parking lot, and Jules standing at his car. 

“Hey man,” Jules greeted, standing up straight. He looked at his best friend, expecting him to be happy to seek him. 

Danny jumped. The papers in his hands instantly crumpled and his bag nearly fell off his shoulder. He looked at Julian with wide brown eyes. “Holy shit! You fucking scared me!” 

Julian just stood there, cold blue eyes staring back at the older man. “I’ve been waiting for like 20 minutes for you,” Julian informed. He brought his arms up, crossing them over his chest. 

“Oh. Why?” Danny was surprised. He’d told Jules he was busy. And didn’t Jules have somewhere to be? 

“Well, I thought I’d check in with ya. You’ve been so busy with the medical staff lately… and you were busy all day yesterday,” Julian said, his hard look softening. “Is your mom okay?” 

Danny’s eyes widened. “Oh… yeah… she’s fine. Just a routine check up. She doesn’t want to use Uber. Her car is in the shop,” Danny spat out. 

Julian pursed his lips. “Are you okay? The medical staff has been with you constantly,” Julian replied, eyeing Danny up. 

“Oh… Uh… yeah… I guess the dehydration sent my body into shock,” Danny quickly lied. “N-Now I gotta go. My mom can’t be late.” He pushes his way past Julian. 

Julian moves to the side and let out a defeated sigh. “Alright. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Danny slid into his car, slamming the door shut. He ran his hands down his face and let out a shaky breath. 

This would be the first of many lies he would be telling… for almost the rest of his life. He just needed to get used to it. Once he had everything under control, life would run smoothly again. 

Hopefully.


	6. 6

Danny’s feet carried him as fast as they could— he was flying. He managed to lose the defender, then kept through the air as Julian sailed the ball through the air with ease. 

He continued to move, leaping up once the perfect spiral was in arms reach. His gloved hands touched it, pulling it into his arms and he touched both feet to the ground. He was in the end zone—the ball was secure… and so was the game. 

“That’s a fucking Dub, baby,” Julian screamed as he ran up to Danny. He slapped Danny’s helmet, jumping in excitement. 

Danny butted his helmet with Julian’s, pushing the younger man back. “Fuck yeah! Let’s fucking go!” 

This was the first time since Danny’s first flare up that he felt like he was himself. The game, and the past two days of practice were just what he needed. While he had to watch what he was eating, he luckily was able to escape the disease while he was playing football. 

“We’re fucking going out tonight, Dola! You fucking won us the game,” Julian screamed. He shoved Danny back. 

Danny was all smiles. “That was all you baby! That throw was a beauty,” Danny screamed back. 

Julian only responded by wrapping his arms around his best friend. “That was all you. You ducking caught it. One down, 15 to go!” 

Before the knew it, their teammates surrounded them, pulling them into one big dog pile. 

Once the group made their way back into the locker room, Danny sat in his stall sweating bullets. How was he expected to go out? His cover would be blown. Alcohol was one of the things he really couldn’t be consuming… that’s if he wanted to live through the next day. 

As he sat there, running his shaky hands through his hair, a shadow took over his line of view, making him look up. He was met by concerned blue eyes looking down at him. 

“You okay, man?” Julian asked. He brought his arms up and crossed them over his chest. His eyebrows were furrowed as he looked down at his best friend. 

Danny let out a sigh and shrugged. “Yeah,” he mumbled. “I’ve just been so stuck in my head lately.” 

“Everything okay?” Julian asked in a low tone. He didn’t know if others would be able to hear them— and didn’t want them to hear anything if something wasn’t okay. Danny nodded and let out a long sigh. “I’ve got a cure for being stuck in your head.” 

Danny’s brown eyes widened. He had a feeling he knew exactly what Julian was about to say. 

“Let’s go get fucking drunk!” Julian’s blue eyes sparkled in the light of the locker room. “Go get your smelly ass clean and we can head out! I’ll let the guys know!” 

Before Danny could react, Julian was turned around and was telling everyone. 

A sick feeling began to rise in Danny’s stomach— and it wasn’t because of what Danny ate. 

*** 

A good hour later, Danny was standing outside of the bar, looking up at it with wide eyes. The entire time he was in the car, he couldn’t help but question what the hell he was going to do. 

Each time he came up empty. 

And that was why he was standing in front of the bar. He was glued to the same spot, looking ahead for five minutes before anyone interrupted him. “Dola! What’re you doing out here? Isn’t the party inside,” Tom questioned. 

Danny’s head snapped in Tommy’s direction. Jesus. They even got Tom to go out? What the actual fuck? 

“Oh,” Danny said, shock painting his voice. “I-I didn’t know if anyone was here yet, so I kinda chilled back and waited.” 

A large smile appeared in Tom’s face. He wrapped an arm around Danny’s shoulder and looked down at the younger man. “Well, I’m here. Let’s go celebrate your comeback week!” 

It was then that Danny knew he was officially and totally fucked. 

As Tom pulled him in, his heart began to race. He only had two choices— suck it up and drink… or raise suspicion and not drink. And he sure as hell wasn’t going to do the latter. 

When they got inside, they were both instantly greeted by a Julian who was clearly feeling good. “Dola! Tommy! It’s about fucking time,” he said as he moved up to them and wrapped them in one big hug. 

Danny awkwardly laughed as he wrapped an arm around his best friend in return. “Hey Jules,” he said, hooking his chin over Julian’s shoulder. Something felt different… he felt right at home as he stood there. 

Julian pulled back with a goofy smile on his face. “We’re just over there! Gronk pulled some strings and we’ve got a VIP area,” Julian informed, his blue eyes sparkled in the bars lights. “But first, we gotta get drinks!” 

That was when Danny’s panic began to settle in. Oh fuck. His system was about to be sent in for a rather large shock… that was when he realized who he was standing next to— Tom Brady! 

Tom almost never drank, and tonight would probably be no different. The man wouldn’t want to fuck with his body the first week of the season. Suddenly, Danny was feeling a bit more calm. Maybe he didn’t have to drink with everyone else. 

“What ya want, Tom,” Julian asked as the three of them stood at the bar. 

Danny almost wasn’t paying attention anymore, but what made him stiffen, was the last word out of Tom’s mouth— Whiskey. 

He looked like a deer in headlights as he turned his head to look at the quarterback. Jesus, Tom has officially failed him. The next thing he knew was that there were two pairs of blue eyes looking back at him. 

“Dola?” Julian asked, worried about his friend. It wasn’t like Danny to be so distant, to be so out of it. 

“Danny,” Tom said. He grabbed Danny’s shoulder and squeezed it. “Are you okay, man?” 

As Danny shook himself out of it, he looked between the two men and let out a long sigh. “Sorry… Just a little tired… Uh how about a captain and coke?” 

Julian nodded. “You got it man!” 

*** 

Four hours later, Danny was feeling good— really good. The guys got him to down multiple celebratory shots and he was on his fifth drink. 

It wasn’t until Julian got up to get another drink that Danny had time to realize what was happening. 

He ran a shaky hand through his hair and threw his head back. There was a low burning in his stomach, and he was pretty sure it wasn’t just the alcohol. 

His eyes fell shut.

The next time they opened he was retching into a waste basket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Danny :(


	7. 7

Danny let out a huff as he rested his forehead against the toilet seat. There was a sheen of sweat covering his forehead, and all he wanted to do was sleep. He was somewhat thankful that everything was out of his system; however, it seemed his system didn’t know that. 

He silently cursed himself for going overboard— for even drinking in the first place. And, while he did not know what to expect, he definitely wasn’t expecting to be throwing up in his best friends bathroom all morning. He was at the point that only bile was coming up, and he wanted it to stop. 

“Danny?” Julian’s voice called through the bathroom door. There were a few light taps that followed it. 

Danny lifted his head and let out a huff. “Yeah,” he groaned miserably. He felt like death and all he wanted to do was sleep— but his churning stomach wouldn’t let him. 

“You okay man?” Julian questioned. “Can I come in?” Julian’s voice was soft, and it somehow comforted Danny. 

“Sure,” he whispered as he leaned forward and flushed the toilet. He moved back so he was sitting flat on his ass and began to look up toward the door. 

He was met by a concerned looking Julian moving in. His blue eyes read of worry and his entire body was tense— Danny could tell by the way Julian’s vein popped out on his bicep, and the way that his jaw was clenched. 

“Man, you didn’t have enough to be this sick,” Julian told Danny. He shook his head as he looked at the pile of his very sick best friend. “I’ve seen you down like twenty in a night and be completely fine. This isn’t right.” 

“Yeah I did. I’m getting older if you haven’t noticed,” Danny groaned. “It was probably just too soon. My body still hasn’t fully recouped from the dehydration.” 

Julian gave Danny an unsure look. “Dude, Dehydration doesn’t fuck you up that bad. It happened on like Tuesday. You should’ve been completely better by Thursday… Friday at the latest,” Julian short back. He squatted down to Danny’s level. 

Julian’s concerned blue eyes met Danny’s puffy brown eyes. “You should probably go to the doctor. There may be something else wrong,” Julian warned. “You’re really worrying me, Dola.” 

Danny rolled his eyes as he pushed himself up from the floor-- he suddenly got a burst of energy and was feeling better. “It’s because I forgot to take the meds the doc gave me,” he replied. “I’m fine.” Once he was stood up completely, he could feel the major achiness in his joints— more specifically his knees. He let out a groan as he popped his back and relaxed. 

Julian stood up as well, unsure If he should have believed his best friend. He stood there and watched Danny slowly move out of the bathroom. “Do you want anything? Tylenol? Advil? Eggs? Toast? See if you can hold something down?” 

Danny stopped, just short of the guest room, and he looked back at Julian. “Uh,” he mumbled. He was perplexed. Eggs and toast sounded so good… But too much protein and too much whole grain wheat (which was the only type of toast Julian would eat) would fuck him up more than he already was. 

He didn’t want to raise suspicion. And he sure as hell didn’t want Julian to keep questioning him. It was getting harder each time he was asked. “I’ll just have a couple eggs,” he said slowly. 

“Okay… Over easy?” Julian asked, thinking he already knew the answer. Danny would die for Julian’s fried eggs— it was always satisfying to hear his best friend moan around the fork after every bite… 

Before almost saying yes, Danny’s brown eyes went wide. “Uh… No actually… Just scrambled is fine,” he said. He quickly turned around and made his way to the guest room before Julian could question him. 

*** 

Danny let out a long sigh as he pushed his way through his front door. His head was pounding and heart hurting. 

He managed to escape Julian’s before he was asked too many questions— also before his body started to disagree with the eggs he ate. Despite the fact that it was only a 10 minute drive, he had to stop once to upchuck the eggs Julian made him. 

Once he kicked his shoes off, he slowly shuffled down the hall and into the bathroom. He was hoping a nice hot shower would help him relax and take away some of the achiness in his joints. The moment he stepped into the bathroom, his sweaty, bar scented shirt was over his head and his pants and boxers were slid down his legs. His skin had goosebumps as the cool air hit it. 

“Ugh,” he grumbled as he ran a hand through his hair and leaned over to turn on the water. He stood there for a second, watching the water spray out, hitting the tiled floor. After he felt it would be hot enough, he leaned in, pushing his hand into the stream of water-- it was warm enough for him. 

He slid into the water and closed the door behind him. Danny rolled his shoulders as the hot water caressed his skin. His eyes fell shut, and just as many people do, now that he was relaxed, he was able to think. 

His heart hurt. He didn’t enjoy keeping his situation from Julian. In fact, he swore his heart cracked a bit every time Jules asked him if he was okay. Especially the last time Julian asked… Danny just wanted to break down and tell him everything, but something stopped him and he refrained. 

Danny just finished eating his eggs, feeling full for the first time in a while… It was a welcomed feeling. As he sat there, he looked down at the toast Julian made him. He knew he told Julian no, but Julian insisted “Thank you so much for the breakfast, Jules,” Danny thanked. He let out a sigh and leaned back in his seat.

“It’s not a problem man,” Julian replied, taking a sip of his coffee. “Are you feeling better? Were those eggs enough? What about your toast?” 

Danny’s eyes widened-- what was with Julian asking so many questions? “I am feeling better… But the toast will probably put me over the edge,” Danny told him as he eyed the toast. “I am absolutely stuffed.”

“So, what’s been up man? It isn’t like you to not want to eat… Especially toast. It’s your favorite, Dola. You’ve been so distant. I don’t even know what to think anymore,” Julian replied. His blue eyes were looking back at Danny, not sure of how to go about the situation. 

“Nothing,” Danny replied, almost too quickly. “I’m just wiped. I’m mentally tired, and then bout of dehydration didn’t help that.” 

“Man, it has to be more than that,” Julian shot back. “You know you can tell me anything right? I’m always here for you. You’re my best friend and I care about you.” Julian’s voice was so soft, just like it always was when he was talking about something he truly cared about. 

Danny’s heart cracked. He wanted to tell Julian, but he couldn’t. He needed to learn how to live before he had to deal with people and their questions. Because even though Julian was already asking a boatload of questions, it would only get worse. “I’m fine,” Danny finally said. “I’m just tired.” 

The look on Julian’s face told Danny that Julian didn’t believe him. “Okay,” he mumbled. “You and I are going somewhere good for bye week, though! We need to get you out of your head!” 

And Danny couldn’t deny that one. Maybe that was what he was going to need, a good weekend… Time to let loose… Ya know, where he’s not pressured to be drinking. 

When Danny opened his eyes, he realized he was crying. He brought a hand up to his eye and sniffled a bit. “You gotta stay strong Danny,” he whispered to himself. “You need to be yourself… You’re the same person… You just need to eat differently…” 

He ran a hand through his wet hair and shook his head. “You can do it… You’ll be fine in no time.” 

Before he realized it, he was full on sobbing. He leaned back against the tiled wall and slowly began to slide down, pulling his knees up to his chest. As the hot water cascaded upon him, he let his eyes fall shut again. 

“Tough times don’t last,” he cried to himself. “T-Tough people do.” 

The saying helped him feel a bit more safe-- one of his favorite people did say it quite a bit after all.


	8. 8

It was finally their official offday. A whole day of no looking at film or worrying about football. That meant Danny could finally sleep in past seven-- or at least that was what Danny thought. He was woken up at 6:54 by his phone ringing on his night stand. 

“Jesus fucking christ,” he mumbled as he leaned over and grabbed his phone. Matt’s face showed up on the screen. He denied the call and stuffed his face under the covers. Whatever it was… It could certainly wait. He wanted his sleep. 

Seconds later, his phone began ringing again. He rolled his eyes and leaned over to pick up his phone. He pressed answer and brought the phone up to his ear. “What the fuck do you want, fuck face? Have you ever heard of sleep?” 

“Wow, so lovely in the morning, huh?” Matt asked. His voice was full of amusement, and way too chipper for Danny. 

“What do you want, Matty,” Danny grumbled as he rolled to his back. He kept his eyes closed as he let out a huff. “Its my day off. Why the hell did you wake me up?” 

“Didn’t you hear the knocking at your front door? Or the doorbell? Come on man,” Matt replied. “You weren’t going to sleep much longer anyway! I know you never sleep past 7:30. Now get off your ass and open the damn door.” 

Danny groaned and finally opened his eyes. When did it get so bright out? “Ugh. Fine,” he mumbled. He kicked his covers down and pulled the phone from his ear, disconnecting the call. He kicked his feet over the side of the bed and slid his shorts up. 

When he made his way down the stairs and to his front door and let out a huff. He yanked the door open to be faced with his big brother looking back at him. “Hey little bro,” Matt greeted with a small smile as he adjusted the bag on his shoulder. 

Danny rolled his eyes as he turned around and slowly began to shuffle into the kitchen. “Ugh,” Danny grumbled. “Why the hell are you here?” He moved over to the drawer next to the sink and pulled out his medications. Now that he was up, he should be taking them. 

There was the sound of the door closing, then footsteps following him. “I can’t just visit my little bro?? Maybe catch a game while I’m here?” Matt asked. He slid into a stool across from where Danny was standing. 

Danny looked up from his medication bottles and gave Matt an unamused look. 

“Alright, alright,” Matt replied, putting his hands up in surrender. “You’ve been scaring the shit out of me, man. You haven’t been answering my texts. And quite frankly, I was gonna head out this way to visit you and mom anyway.” 

“I’m sorry,” Danny finally mumbled. He had both of his hands patched into the edge of the counter. When he looked up, he was met with his brother looking back at him with soft brown eyes and purses lips. 

“There’s no need to be sorry,” Matt said. He shook his head. “You’re going through a tough time… but… have you… I don’t know… Told anyone but me? I talked to mom on the phone last night and she said she hasn’t seen you in over two weeks.” 

“Well, yeah— I…” Danny cut himself as he took in a sharp breath. A shooting pain took over his abdomen and he hunched over in pain. “Ah fuck.” He shakily reached for the medication bottles, failing at unlatching the cap of the first one. 

“Here.” Suddenly the bottle was pulled from his hand and there were two pills lying in the palm of his hand. 

He gratefully popped them in his mouth and leaned forward, sipping water straight from the faucet. Once the pills were successfully downed, Danny reached forward and slammed the faucet off and leaned against the counter with his head in the sink, waiting for the pain to subside. 

As he got his breath back and gathered his surroundings, Matt moved over and opened all the pill bottles, reading how many of each one needed to be taken. When Danny’s heart stopped pounding, he stood straight up and let out a huff. “Sorry about that,” he mumbled, sounding miserable. “The morning is the worst time for some reason.” 

Matt carefully eyed Danny as Danny moved to grab two glasses. He filled both of them up, slid one toward Matt and began to pick up the pills, two at a time to take them. “Are you sure you’re okay, Danny?” Matt sounded nervous, much more nervous than Julian had sounded in the last week. 

“Yeah,” Danny mumbled. “I’m taking it day by day at this point. It’s a big adjustment.” That was the most honest Danny had been since his diagnosis. Even though he wasn’t completely okay, he really was taking it day by day. “How long are you here for?” 

Matt could see what Danny was doing, trying to change the conversation— but he went along with it. “I’ll be leaving Monday afternoon. I was asked to work on a painting for the Red Sox, so I’m meeting with them tomorrow,” Matt replied. 

Danny’s eyes widened. “That’s great, Matty! Congrats,” Danny replied. A small smile made its way onto his face; it was a genuine one, too. “How is Lucca?” 

Matt nodded. “He’s been good. He can’t wait to see your again,” Matt told Danny, a smile making its way to his face. “Hopefully soon. Maybe for your birthday.” 

“Yeah, that’d be good,” Danny said. “I miss the little rascal.” 

“Hey, would you maybe want to go out for breakfast? Can you still do that? I jumped on the first flight here and am absolutely starving,” Matt said, his brown eyes full of hope. 

Danny sucked in a breath, thinking about it for a second. He finally nodded. “Yeah… that works… I’ve just gotta shower real quick.” 

*** 

While Danny took his shower, Matt sat down stairs, looking around Danny’s living room. The younger man really did appreciate his friends and family, there were so many pictures on the wall it was borderline scattered. 

A few knocks on the front door pulled Matt out of his thoughts. He pushed himself up from the couch and moved over, pulling the door open. 

In hindsight, he probably shouldn’t have just pulled his brothers door open— it was only 8 am and who knew what kinda weirdo could be knocking on his door. 

Matt was met with a pair of blue eyes. “Matt? What are you doing here?” Julian greeted in his usual chipper tone. He moved in to give the older man a ‘man hug’. “How the hell are ya?!” 

“Hey Jules, how are ya?” Matt returned the hug and moved aside to let Julian in. “I’m here to check on Danny. And well work… but mostly check up on Danny.” 

Julian’s heart began to race. So there really was something wrong… Of course Matt would know. But Julian would be lying if he said he wasn’t hurt. “Yeah,” Julian said, softly. “He’s just been so out of it.” 

Matt nodded as the two of them moved to sit on the couch. “That’s how it can be with Crohn's,” Matt mumbled and shook his head. “He was in terrible pain after I got here. I-I think he’s just waiting a few weeks to see if the medications regulate it at all.” 

“Yeah,” Julian replied before he could process what Matt had said. After a second, he stiffened. He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. A heavy feeling on his chest felt like it was going to suffocate him. “You know… you’re here… So I-I probably don’t need to be here.” Julian stood up from the couch and let out a sigh. 

Matt furrowed his eyebrows as he stood up with Julian. “Are you sure? We were about to catch some breakfast. You’re more than welcome to join us,” Matt told Julian. 

Julian’s nose began to get stuffy. He shook his head and made his way to the door. “N-No man… you two enjoy your bro time,” he shot back. “It was great to see you again. Tell Dola I said hi.” 

And with that, Julian pushed his way out of the house, leaving behind a confused Matt, and an oblivious Danny.


	9. 9

“Jesus fucking christ,” Julian mumbled as he slammed his car door shut. He leaned back in the driver's seat and let out a huff as he brought his hands up and put them over his eyes. He ducked his head as he began to shake. 

How could Danny lie to him? How could his best friend betray him like that? Did Danny not trust him? Why didn’t Danny want to tell him? Why did Matt have to be the one that broke it to him? Did Danny even want to be his friend anymore? Was this the end of their friendship? Did he mean nothing to the older man? How was this fair to him?

After a minute or two, he pulled his hands away from his face and desperately tried to get his breath back. As he choked on his breath, he shook his head. How didn’t he notice earlier? He felt terrible. He wasn’t there for his best friend when he needed him most. 

Julian felt terrible. 

Finding this out, whether is was from Matt or Danny, it broke Julian’s heart. He knew his best friend to be invincible. He knew Dola was the type of person to overcome anything that faced him. But it worried him that Danny didn’t seem to confide in him. 

When Julian’s vision cleared from his tears, he sucked in a shaky breath and began to shake his head. Why did it bother him so much? He didn’t know, but he swore his heart cracked a bit. He would be worried about his best friend no matter what; however, he knew he had to give Danny time. 

Julian managed to get home without even realizing it. He was so stuck in his head that he was just on autopilot. He didn’t realize he was home until he was fumbling with his keys at the front door. When he managed to get the key in the lock and unlock it, he pushed his way inside before slammed the door shut. 

In the matter of seconds he found the couch, sitting down on it, but resting his elbows on his thighs as he ran his hands through his hair—- pulling at it so hard it could’ve been yanked out. 

“Danny,” Julian mumbled as he shook his head and sat straight up. “What the hell is up, man? Why couldn’t you tell me?” He shook his head. Instead of questioning himself, he realized he needed to ask Dola himself. 

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and instantly went to Danny’s contact. Before he knew it, he pressed the ‘call button’ and had the phone up to his ear. There were a few quiet seconds, but then something changed in Julian. 

He pulled the phone from his ear and instantly disconnected the call, shaking his head. “Fuck,” he mumbled as he moved to send Danny a text. 

Julian 8:32   
Hey Dola… we should talk

Before he could hit send, he deleted the entire thing and shook his head. 

Julian 8:32   
Hey Dola. I stopped by you-

Julian shook his head before deleting that one too. He’d just talk to Dola at practice the next day— no big deal. 

*** 

Danny let out a sigh as he bounded down the steps and moved into the living room where Matt was sitting on the couch, looking on his phone. “Are ya ready,” Danny asked, as he slid his shoes on. 

Matt stood up and nodded. “Yeah man. By the way, Jules stopped by,” Matt informed. “He saw I was here and said we deserve our bro time.” Matt chuckled as he shook his head. 

Danny raised an eyebrow, looking back at his brother. “Jules stopped by? Did the idiot knock again?” 

Matt nodded. “Uh… Yeah, that’s what normal people do?” Matt replied, questioning Danny’s annoyed eye roll. 

“I gave him a key months ago,” Danny mumbled as they made their way out of the house. “He still knocks. Every. Damn. Time. The guy probably has raw knuckles by now.” 

Matt shook his head. When the got to the garage, Danny opened the door and Matt made a face. “Bro. Did you kill something in here? It’s fucking rancid,” Matt complained as he plugged his nose. 

Danny rolled his eyes as they moved up to his car and slid in. Once Matt was in, Danny looked to him as he shook his head. “That’s the fucking bile that I threw up on the ground last week. When I got home I managed to clean it up, but it still smells terrible in here,” Danny mumbled as he started the car. 

The next few minutes were silent. “Wait,” Danny said as he stopped at a stop light. “Where are we even eating? Have we decided on that?” He looked over to his brother, completely blank. 

Matt looked at Danny for a second before shaking his eyes. “No, you know what? We didn’t?” He began laughing. 

Danny smiled and shook his head. “Alright… then where do you wanna go? I don’t care where. I just need to eat at some point.” 

Matt shrugged. “Have you been to Bourque’s lately? They always had the best omelettes,” Matt replied. 

“Haven’t been there since we took Lucca a few years ago. That’s where you wanna go, then? I could go for their pancakes, and before you ask— yes, I can eat them. That, I’m very thankful for.” 

An hour later, the duo was finally seated and looking at their menus. “So… Don’t get mad at me,” Matt said as he put his down on the table and looked toward his younger brother. 

Danny’s brown eyes carefully studied the older man before saying, “About what? Why would I be mad at you?” 

Matt took a second, giving the younger man a sorry look. “I know you’re still processing it and trying to figure it all out… but what exactly started all of this? Why all of the sudden? What all happened leading up to you calling me?” 

Danny let out a sigh as he eyed the glass of water sitting on the table in front of him. After running a hand through his hair, he looked back up to his brothers eyes. “It’s been hard,” Danny whispered and shook his head. 

Matt pursed his lips and gave Danny a gentle nod. “And I’m sorry about that,” he replied, keeping eye contact with his brother. 

“I puked and passed out at practice the other day. They thought it was just dehydration. The next day I felt fine… And then the next morning I woke up with terrible pain in my abdomen and at times it was so bad I was throwing up,” Danny informed. He ran a hand through his hair and let out a sigh. “What you saw this morning was about one tenth of what I was feeling that morning.” 

“Jesus,” Matt mumbled as he shook his head. “I couldn’t even imagine.”

A look of regret flashed across Danny’s face. “After we won on Sunday they guys decided they wanted to go out to a bar,” Danny began. “So, they dragged me with them because of my touchdown. I’m not supposed to drink alcohol, so I don’t know if it was the fact that I drank in general, or just the fact that I drank way too much… But Monday morning, I couldn’t function. My stomach was so fucking bad.” 

“And are all of those medications going to regulate it?” Matt questioned. He was beginning to get worried for his brother. They may have gotten into little arguments as kids, but they never wished those types of pains upon each other. 

Danny nodded. “Yeah… There are a few different options, so they started me out with that. Crohn’s is incurable, so nothing can completely stop it. If the pain gets bad enough, I could possibly get a surgery to help me with it, but it won't completely stop it,” Danny said, his eyes becoming wet. 

“Well, have the pills helped you at all, then?” Matt was full of questions. This whole situation was a shock to him; Danny was always one of the healthiest people he knew. 

“A little,” Danny mumbled. “I’ll just have to wait until I’m able to know what my body will be like with Crohn’s. I’m hoping that this is all it takes.” 

Matt nodded, finally speechless. He didn’t like the sound of that. He just wanted his baby brother to be okay.


	10. 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry it’s been so long. I’ve been working so much that I haven’t been able to write! Hopefully I’ll get a day off soon!

“Hey Jules,” Danny greeted as Julian walked through the front door of the restaurant. “How are you man?” He got up and hugged Julian. 

“I’m pretty good, how are you? Feeling better?” Julian replied as he hugged Danny back. “Hey Matty! How the hell are you?” 

Matt smiled as he stood to give the younger man a hug. “I’m great. It's great to see you again! Maybe we can talk a little more today. You rushed out so fast the other morning!” 

Julian shrugged. “You two deserve your bro time! Are we being seated? Or do we choose where we want to sit,” Julian asked as he looked at the half empty restaurant. 

“We get to choose,” Danny mumbled as he began to wander into the dining area of the restaurant. “You guys okay with a booth?” 

Matt and Julian began to follow behind Danny, chatting about life. “How are your parents?” Matt asked as they watched Danny slide into a booth. 

“They’re great,” Julian replied. “My mom is thinking about coming out to visit in a few weeks. Maybe even be bringing Lily.” 

Matt smiled. “How is your little one? Is she doing well?” Matt questioned. He always smiled when thinking of kids, especially his own. He loved being a dad, and one day he beyond wanted to be an Uncle. 

Julian slid in across from Danny, and Matt slid in next to Danny. “Yeah. She’s been doing great. She is getting so big. I can’t wait for you to see her again, Danny boy,” Julian said as he changed his line of view toward Danny. “I think you’ve seen her once since her baptism.” 

Danny looked at Julian with wide eyes before nodding. “Shit, you’re right. It has been a while. I’ve missed the little princess,” Danny replied as a smile made its way to his face. “You should have your mom bring her. I could enjoy some time with Lily.” 

Matt smiled over at his brother, not expecting to hear Danny talk so passionately about his goddaughter. It was the most excitement he heard from his brother since he flew in. Another thing Matt did not miss was the way Julian smiled so bright toward Danny. He didn’t know if it was the fact that Danny was talking about Lily, or the fact that he was with Julian, but his brother finally looked happy… And even healthy. 

“You know what?” Julian said, with the biggest smile on his face. “I think I’ll tell my mom to bring her with then. Maybe the three of us could go to the park and give my mom a little bit of time to herself.” 

After a minute or two, the waitress came strolling over and gave the trio their menus. As Matt and Julian began to look over their menus, Danny sat there, staring at the front page. He silently thanked the gods above that he didn’t get the same thing every time he was there, because most of the things he’d get other places were a no go for his new diet. 

He sat there, staring down at the menu. One thing he knew he could eat for sure was chicken, so he ventured all of the chicken options. His doctor warned him about spicy foods, so he didn’t want to mess with those… His eyes stopped trailing upon seeing the option of chicken stir-fry. 

“Dola?” Julian asked. But Danny was too deep in his thoughts, reading over all of the vegetables that were in it as well as if it said what type of rice it was over. “Danny?” 

“Hey Danny,” Matt said, knocking his shoulder into Danny’s. 

Danny instantly was pulled out of his thoughts and looked between the two men to realize that the waitress was standing at the end of the table. “What can I get for you,” she asked, her blue eyes that were much like Julian’s (Not that Danny noticed, or anything) looking back at him. 

“Oh… Sorry… I’ll have the chicken stir fry… No green beans and no water chestnuts please,” he replied. “Oh… And is it over white rice?” He felt awkward. He would never be that picky, except for the water chestnuts. 

“Yes it is,” she replied as she wrote on her notepad. “Is that okay?” She looked up and Danny slowly nodded. “And what would you like to drink sweetie?” 

“Oh… I’ll just have some water, please,” Danny mumbled as he closed his menu and handed it over to the waitress. She thanked them and walked away. 

Danny definitely did not miss the weird look Julian shot him from across the table. 

*** 

“Danny, Doctor Trush will see you now,” a nurse announced as she walked into the waiting room with her clipboard. 

Both Danny and Matt stood from their seats and moved toward her. “Hi, Danny. Who do you have with you today?” She asked, a big smile on her face. 

“This is my brother, Matt. He’s come along because he’s got a lot of questions that I don’t have the answers to,” Danny joked with a small smile on his face. He was surprisingly feeling really good for just eating a full meal (for the first time in two days). 

“Ah. That makes sense. It’s nice to meet you Matt. I’m sure Doctor Trush will be happy to answer any questions the both of you have,” she told them as she taxied them into a room just down the hall. The two men slid in behind her. 

Danny sat down on the examination table and Matt in one of the chairs. “He will be right with you two,” she informed and slid out of the room. 

The two men sat in a silence until there were a few knocks on the door. “Come in,” Danny barely said. He was nervous, just like he always was when he had doctors appointments-- now more so than ever. 

The door was swung open and they were met with the face of Danny’s now normal Crohn’s doctor. “Hello Danny, it’s good to see you again. How have you brought with you today?” He shook Danny’s hand, then he turned to Matt. 

“This is my brother, Matt,” Danny informed. “He had quite a few questions, so I figured that I would bring him with.” 

“I’m sure I can answer all of those questions,” the doctor informed. “It’s nice to meet you Matt.” 

Matt stood up and shook the doctors hand. “Likewise,” Matt replied. He sat back down in his chair and watched as the doctor moved over to the computer. 

“Alright,” Dr. Trush said as he leaned toward the sink and washed his hands. “Now Danny, if I could have you stand up and move over to the scale for me, that would be wonderful.” 

Danny nodded. He stepped onto the scale since asked and nervously waited for the number to pop up-- 185. “Okay, you can sit back down,” the doctor said. “Now, I’m going to need you to lie back on the table and pull your shirt up a bit.” 

Danny did as asked and the doctor began pushing around, asking if there was any pain-- there wasn't. “So now I’m going to ask Danny a few questions and then the both for you can hit me with any questions you may have.” 

Both men nodded and the doctor sat down, looking at Danny. “Have you been able to keep food down lately? You’ve lost three pounds in the last week,” the doctor pointed out. 

“Yes, I have been able to. I-I made the mistake of drinking Sunday night, though,” Danny mumbled. He shook his head. “I won’t be doing that for a while.” 

Doctor Trush nodded with a small smile on his face. “I see you learned the hard way then, huh?” 

Danny nodded. “Unfortunately,” Dann replied as he looked down at his lap. “Otherwise I’ve been able to keep my foods down.” 

“That’s a good sign. How about the pain? Has it eased a bit?” 

“A little,” Danny mumbled. “Not much. If I don’t take my meds right away in the morning I can have a really bad flare ups.” 

“As expected. If you keep taking them around the same time everyday, I’m sure you’ll be fine. Your body is beginning to regulate itself,” the doctor advised. 

Danny was thankful for that. 

THe appointment continued, and Matt got to ask his many questions. And even somehow made it about him, wondering if he could have a chance of having it. 

Overall though, the appointment went well and Danny was able to be reassured that he would okay.


	11. 11

The next week whipped by and before Danny knew it, his brother had to leave. They had bonded over the week that Matt was there, and Danny had to admit that he was extremely thankful that he wanted to come check on him. Matt being there was a welcomed distraction for Danny— it gave him a little way to enjoy life again. 

However, the day Matt left, Danny found himself going home after practice just to sit around and think. Thinking was what he’d been avoiding for a week. 

When he walked into the house he sat right on the couch and ran a hand through his hair. His body was extremely achy and all he wanted to do was relax. He leaned back as he pulled his knees up to his chest. 

All he wanted was for the achiness to stop. It was constantly there, chasing him faster than a defense man. He wanted to shake the feeling, he didn’t enjoy feeling like he’d been tackled and slammed into the ground multiple times a day. 

“It hurts,” he mumbled as he let his eyes fall shut. “It fucking hurts.” He shook his head. He didn’t know how much longer he was going to be able to do it. It felt like this disease and all of its side effects were causing his world to come crashing down. 

How much longer could he do it? His mind began to wander. Was this the end of him? The end of his career? The end of doing what he loved to do? What if he had a terrible flare up in public? Around the guys? 

Before he knew it, tears were pulling down his face and his body began to shake with every sob. This wasn’t supposed to be him. He felt like he was in his prime— he was going to have an amazing season. But this? This put a wrench in his plans. 

“Why me?” He asked as he threw his head back and looked at the ceiling. “I don’t know how much longer I can do it.” 

It seemed as if his whole body was throbbing. With every breath he took, it only seemed to get worse. And it was weird. It wasn’t his stomach for once; it was everything else. 

After a few minutes, he decided to get up and find some meds to ease the pain. He pushed himself up from the couch and slowly but surely shuffled his way down the hall and toward his first floor bathroom. Danny didn’t even want to think about going up the stairs, he was aching just that much. 

 

He flicked the lights on once he reached the bathroom and moved over to the medicine cabinet. At first, he was reaching for the normal Tylenol, but then his eyes fell upon the narcotics Jules left at his house after he was fully healed from his ACL injury. 

Without another thought, he shakily reached for the bottle and looked down at the label. “Julian Francis Edelman” was in big bold letters across the bottle… Danny shook his head and began to unscrew the cap. 

He began shaking the bottle, letting what was left pour into the palm of his hand-- Only three… That should do it. He would without a doubt be out like a light and not aware of his pain with that type of dosage. 

After putting the empty bottle down on the counter, he grabbed the cup and began filling it with water. He threw the pills back into his mouth and began chugging back the water.Once all the water in the cup was gone, he put the cup back down and slowly began to shuffle out of the bathroom. 

He swore he was always feeling better. 

As he made his way down the hall, he kept his eyes on the floor, not necessarily paying attention to where he was walking. He was stopped when he moved to round the corner back into his living room. 

His elbow slammed into the door frame and excruciating pain began to shoot through his arm. “Motherfucker!” He cried as he held his elbow and jumped back. “Jesus christ! Oh my god!” He mumbled as tears began pulling from his eyes. “I-I can’t fucking win.” 

Through the pain, he made it back to the couch where he sat down, feeling like he was crumbling piece by piece. He couldn’t do this alone. He couldn’t. 

“I fucking hate my life,” he mumbled as he picked up his phone and went to his recent calls… He clicked on the one person he could talk to-- his brother… He didn’t know what to do. 

He closed his eyes as another pain shot through his arm. He clicked on the screen and pulled the phone up to his ear. After a ring or two there was a small “Hello?” from the other end. 

“M-Matt,” he mumbled and he rested on his side, with his phone still up to his ear. “I-I can’t do it anymore, Matt. I-I can’t.” 

Danny was now full on sobbing. “It hurts. It all hurts. And I can’t even eat what I wanna eat anymore. I-I wanna be myself again. I wanna be able to live life. I fucking hate myself. I hate my life. I-I…” 

Danny was beginning to feel sleepy. He let out a small yawn as he shook his head. “F-Fuck it. I’m going to bed. Maybe I’ll feel better when I wake up… I doubt it though.” 

Just like that, Danny was asleep, with the phone still to his ear. 

“Dola?” Julian asked as he pulled the phone from his ear and looked to see if the call was still connected-- Of course it wasn’t. 

Julian shook his head as he ended the call and put his phone down on the counter. It was killing him-- Absolutely killing him. He wanted Danny to tell him to his face. He wanted to not feel guilty for knowing what he knew. 

His best friend… was going through a lot… And if he was being truthful, all he wanted to do was hug him and make it all better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! :)


	12. 12

It was a new day. And surprisingly, Danny felt really good. When he walked into the locker room, he felt completely recharged and ready to take on another day. 

He didn’t remember making the phone call, all he could remember was taking the pain pills and that was it— and he was thankful for that. He had a full night (and then some) of sleep. It was the first one he had since the day he was diagnosed. Sure, he woke up a little drowsy, but a cup of coffee fixed that instantly. 

Practice started out well. Danny felt like he was flying. He could finally run without feeling like something was keeping him down. It didn’t seem like that much of a surprise when Hogs, White, and even Tom gave him a reassuring pat on the back. 

One thing that did seem a little weird, though, was the fact that Julian wasn’t hanging around him like usual. The younger man was kinda off by himself, not talking to anyone unless they talked to him first. Danny made sure to make a mental note on that, because it was unlike Julian. 

It didn’t necessarily happy like that, though. By the time that Danny was about to make his way over to Julian, he found himself getting talked to by one of the coaches on a way to improve a certain play. When he was done, he was faced by the blue eyed man, waiting to talk to him. 

“Oh,” Danny said, brown eyes wide. “H-Hey Jules… How are you? Are you okay? You’ve been distant.” Danny wanted to talk to the younger man, but didn’t expect the man to come up to him like that when he was seemingly avoiding him for the most of practice.

“I’m fine. But how are you?” Julian replied, crystal blue eyes looking back at Danny-- Nearly staring into the older man’s soul. “You seem to be having a good day today, huh?” 

Danny squinted at Julian. “Oh… I’m fine… And yeah, I feel like I woke up this morning and everything has really clicked,” Danny replied. He didn’t know why Julian was asking how he was feeling. It just didn’t make sense. In fact, it made him feel weak-- He didn’t like it. 

The two men walked side by side as they made their way toward the locker room. “That’s good,” Julian replied.

Danny nodded before he stopped dead in his tracks and his eyes widened. “Oh shit. I forgot my water,” Danny said, about to turn back to get his water from the bench. 

“Oh,” Julian replied. “Here is mine. Take it. I’m done.” He held the Gatorade squirt bottle out for the older man to take.

The dark haired man happily took it, muttering a small thank you. He brought the bottle up and squirted it into his mouth, letting the… Salty liquid poured down his throat. THe minute he realized what he was putting in his body he stopped and began to cough. 

He leaned up against the cinder block wall for support as he felt hot liquid begin to make its way up his esophagus. Within seconds, he was leaning over, discarding the liquid on the floor. It just kept coming and coming until the oatmeal he had eaten for breakfast was up as well. 

There was a moment of disorience and then there were a pair of arms around him, keeping him up, and the faint sound of someone yelling. 

As Danny slowly came back to consciousness, he realized he was being supported by Mike and Julian. “Danny? Can you hear me? We’re going to get you to the medical room… Okay?”

Danny wheezed as he nodded. “O-Okay,” he mumbled weakly as he finally found the strength to begin walking on his own, though he gladly accepted their support. 

When they got to the medial room, Danny moved up onto the medical bed and let his eyes fall shut as he tried to even out his breath. “Danny?” Mike asked quietly, trying not to scare the dark haired man. 

Danny sucked in a shaky breath and popped his eyes open. “Yeah?” He mumbled. He felt tired, extremely tired. All he wanted to do at this point was sleep. 

“Is there any pain?” Mike asked. He was standing so close that he was taking up Danny’s whole line of view. 

“N-No,” Danny mumbled as he shook his head. “T-The salt just disagreed with my stomach. I-I… Ugh. It’s terrible.” He let his eyes fall shut. 

“Okay… I’ll just need to do a quick check up on you,” Mike informed. “I can’t let you go if you’re going to be sick again.” 

*** 

A half hour later, Danny was sitting up, sipping normal water. “You feeling better,” Julian questioned from the chair in the corner of the room. He was worried about his best friend. He didn’t like to see his loved ones go through something like that. 

The entire time Danny was being checked, Julian only thought about how bad he needed to come clean about what he knew. About how Matt told him and about how he was the one on the end of the call the night before-- Not Matt. 

Danny nodded as he pulled the glass of water from his mouth and looked down at his lap. “Yeah. I’m feeling much better… I’m ready to go home now.” He said. 

Mike came rolling in as Danny said that. “Well, Danny… You’re free to go home now, but I cannot let you drive there. You’ll need someone to take you home... Just as a precaution.”

Danny seemed a bit confused for a second and before he could even think of a reply, Julian jumped up from his seat. “I’ll take him home,” he said. He looked at Danny with wide eyes. 

The older man, who was extremely tired, couldn’t shoot back one of his witty replies. He just slowly nodded and pushed himself off the table-- ready to go home.


	13. 13

The first half of the ride to Danny’s place was damn near silent. Both men didn’t feel the need to talk because they were both so deep in their thoughts. 

At this point, Danny knew he’d have to talk to Julian. And Julian knew he’d have to talk to Danny. The younger man was officially at his breaking point— he was sick of seeing his best friend hurt. And now that he’s seen one of the flare ups that he’s read so much about, he knew he’d have to confront Danny. 

It wasn’t until they were at a stop light that Julian built up the courage to say something— anything really. He knew Danny wouldn’t be able to walk away or avoid it, so it was the best time to start it. 

“How are you feeling,” Julian asked, glancing over at Danny. His blue eyes were full of nervousness and his voice even a bit shaky. 

Danny tore his eyes from the building outside and looked over toward Julian, his eyes dark. After a second he just shrugged. “The best I can feel,” he mumbled. He was fumbling with his hands, so he looked down at them. 

Julian let out a sigh, shooting a quick glance to the light to make sure it was still red. “Danny…” Julian trailed off. “We need to talk.” His heart was racing and he felt like he could throw up. He didn’t feel nearly prepared to talk to Danny. 

Danny blinked slowly, visibly swallowing. After a second he finally nodded. “Y-Yeah, we do, Jules. I-I… Do you think we could wait until we get back to my place?” Danny’s big brown eyes were looking back at Julian, almost begging. 

The younger man gave it a few seconds of thought— he almost said yes, but found himself shaking his head. “N-No, Danny. We really need to talk about what’s been going on,” Julian said, firmly, bringing his eyes back up to the road in front of him. 

He couldn’t pass it up again. For all he knew, Danny would avoid him when they got to his place. 

Danny’s heart was now racing. The look on Julian’s face made him want to jump out of the moving car. He began to silently curse himself for not telling Julian earlier. 

After a few seconds, Julian got tired of waiting for Danny’s reply. “Dola, I’m fucking worried about you,” Julian whispered. He quickly glanced at the man who was looking down at his lap. “You’ve been sick. And… I-I just wish you would’ve told me about it.” 

Danny stiffened. Did Julian say what he just thought the said? “Told you what?” His voice was as cold as ice. 

Julian felt guilty. For a few seconds he didn’t reply— he was too focused on turning into Danny’s road. As he pulled up to Danny’s house, he shifted the car into park and looked to Danny, who was looking back at him with a dark look. “Y-Your Crohns.” 

A look that Julian couldn’t identify crossed Danny’s face. Then his voice came out in a near growl. “Mike told you? Th-That was supposed to be confidential.” It was clear he was close to tears after that. 

 

“N-No… It was Matt…” Before Julian could get another word out, Danny was rushing out of the car. 

Julian didn’t register what was happening until Danny’s front door shut. “Fuck,” he yelled as he turned his car off and rushed out the door. He moved up the steps and to Danny’s front door, trying to push his way in. 

The door was locked. He pounded on the door. “Danny! Open up! Please! Come on man!” There wasn’t a response after a few minutes, so he stopped. His Forehead hit the door in defeat. “Please man.” 

That when he realized he had a key. He instantly peeled up, pulling his keys out of his pocket. He pushed the key in the door, unlocking it. 

When he got in he looked around frantically. “Danny?” He called, looking around the living room. The older man wasn’t there. 

Julian rushed his way into the kitchen and came up empty. Then he moved into the hall, looking in the office, then the bathroom. An orange bottle on the counter caught his eye. 

A sick feeling arose in his stomach as he moved toward it. He picked it up and nearly dropped it— it was his. Was Danny taking his stuff to ease his pain? Julian’s heart broke. 

He never wanted Danny to feel that way. 

Once he put the bottle down, he tore out of the bathroom and up the stairs, praying that Danny was in his room. He was faced with a closed door. “D-Danny,” he said, almost in tears. “Please. Let me in. I-I… Just please.” 

There was some rustling on the other side of the door, then it was cracked open. Danny was stood there, watery eyes, looking at Julian was a bit of betrayal. 

Tears began pulling from Julian’s eyes. “Please let me in,” he mumbled. 

The door was pulled open, and Danny moved over to the bed, sitting down at the edge. Julian moved in after him, sitting down next to his best friend. They looked at each other for a few seconds, both crying. 

“W-Why didn’t you tell me?” Julian asked, hurt. He thought they were best friends. 

Danny shook his head. “I’ve been trying to adjust,” he mumbled. “It’s been so hard. I haven’t known what to do. I-I… Matt was a help… but I don’t know how to tell others. I’m too scared.” 

Julian shook his head. “We’re all here to help. We care for you,” he shot back. 

“Th-That’s it,” Danny complained. “I don’t wasn’t special treatment.” He cried. He shook his head stuffing his hands in his face. “I’m still me. I want others to understand that.” 

Julian shook his head. “Then tell us. We care for you Danny,” he replied. “We do. P-Please just talk to us. Talk to me.” 

At that, Danny looked up at Julian, eyes red and puffy. “I’ve wanted to tell you so bad,” he mumbled. 

“C-come here,” Julian replied. 

He pulled the older man into his arms as the both of them cried. Danny rested his head on Julian’s chest, and brought his hand up, clutching the younger man’s shirt like his life depended on it. 

“I-I lo- Thank you,” Danny mumbled as Julian’s arms tightened around him. 

He was finally where he belonged.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you’d like more! :)


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